In part two of our Emotional Intelligence series, Prof. VGT offers five easy ways to boost EI.
1. Become aware of and tune into your emotions.
One of the first, and perhaps most important steps, is to become more self aware, or to develop the ability to tune into your own emotions. Why? In order to control your emotions you must first be aware of them. Some pointers for becoming self aware include: monitoring your emotions by acknowledging them, examining them, and then assessing your triggers and activation points.
Practising mindfulness is also an excellent way to become more self aware and monitor your emotions. By being aware of your own emotions, you are better able to understand and become aware of the emotions of others.
2. Seek to understand the points of view of others.
Once you have a good appraisal of your own emotions, seek to understand and empathize with others. This is particularly important at the workplace, on committees, or in a group setting where ideas are flowing and being exchanged. To do so, listen attentively, put yourself in another’s place and try to imagine what they are thinking and feeling and how they may have arrived at their conclusions.
3. Communicate effectively.
Communicating effectively requires both verbal and non-verbal skills. Effective communication is about understanding emotions, as well as the intentions behind the information exchanged. It is a mutual back-and-forth that includes conveying a message in the way it is intended and, in turn, making sure it is received as intended.
Non verbal skills include engaged listening, making eye contact, being aware of body language (not standing too close, gestures, facial expressions, etc.)
4. Develop connections with people.
No matter how shy or introverted you think you are, learning to develop connections with others is a huge component of Emotional Intelligence. In fact, even if you are shy, you can begin first by listening, showing interest and making others feel comfortable. Doing so is sometimes easier for shy, introverted people than it is for gregarious, extroverts who tend to enjoy speaking first. For both types, showing that you care and are interested in others goes far in building valuable connections.
5. Practise emotional management.
Once you are aware of both your own emotions and those of others, it is important to understand how to keep them balanced and in check. Some ways of practising emotional management include:
- Stopping to take time to process and understand what is transpiring.
- Diverting your attention until you are more composed, such as going for a walk, exercising, playing with a pet, breathing deeply.
- Re-framing the experience, i.e. exploring a new, broader way of looking at the issue.
- Looking at the big picture and determining how important the immediate emotion/reaction is to the overall issue.
